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Tom Coburn is a Big Fat Jerk


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Home of the Barking Moonbat


 

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Being Barking Moonbat

I want to change the name of the blog to Barking Moonbat.

I'm in a true, genuine and rare (for me) funk. And it looks like this funk isn't going away any time soon. I'm genuinely pissed off, fed up and absolutely unbelieving that we're so stupid that it's come to this.

It's not that I'm ready to move to Canada --- in fact, my plan is to stay here and drive them all so freaking up the wall that they'll want to just shoot themselves rather than endure another moment of it. A kind of passive aggressive sneak attack moonbatness combined with some full frontal screaming obscenities YOU FREAKING JACKASS NAZIS with appropriate hand gestures and lots of AHAHAHAHA! right back at them while I'm hanging off a limb somewhere way up high in some tree.

I've had it with them and nothing's making it any better. Every time I turn around, it's some other kind of shit, and my tolerance which got wore out a long time ago has reached a new record low.

Rather than engage in some kind of positive actions, I've taken to trolling right wing boards.

But even I can't believe how insane they are and they're just getting more insane.

And you know, people, a mess of the self-described liberals aren't helping a bit.

Case in point --- I go to lurk on the psychotic farmers forum where they're even crazier than anything you can imagine --- seriously, they are. Even I can't believe people this stupid and insane are bipedal and demonstrate other human-like traits. They are really s-t-u-p-i-d and even crazier. And someone there posts about a fellow who gets himself shot and killed when Child Protective Services shows up. Which is bad enough.

But then a liberal gets on and begins ranting that people who don't have electricity shouldn't be allowed to have children.

Fellow liberals, do you need me to come over there and have a talk with you? Do you have any concept of how many people in this country are living without electricity at this very moment? Do you have any idea how recently electricity was brought into how many communities? Do you have any idea how many people I know who grew up without electricity?

Not to mention, are you aware that some of the hippest, brightest, most intelligent people around are intentionally and purposely living without electricity --- you know --- offgrid?

Get a grip, liberals.

So that was bad enough but then I get a phone call from a family member in a nearby city and for some reason --- I mean, we were talking about autism, of all things, and whether there's an epidemic of it which i was insisting there is because I don't think autism is necessarily genetic because the last I heard, they'd linked it to alcoholism because it tends to be found in families with alcoholics.

The problem is, do you know a family in the entire world which doesn't have an alcoholic?

In any case, I was off on a rant about autism likely being the result of environmental factors like heavy metals and all the crap we dump in the airs and the oceans and we all know high fructose corn syrup and trans-fats are causing us profound organic harm, so why shouldn't environmental pollution be responsible for all these cases of neurological damage which are popping up everywhere, it seems. I mean, look at the oceans ...

... and I hear what do you mean, the oceans and i say well, you know, they're rising and I hear back they are??? and I say yes, haven't you heard about this? and I get a stunned no, I haven't what are you talking about which leads us into what they talk about these days on the news which I know virtually nothing about because I don't get television out here ...

... and I grill them and after hearing what's going on on the news, I really want to just go build myself a treehouse and never come down again.

Which leads me back to my original point which is if i feel this way by Saturday, to hell with the rest of you, the blog's name is changing to barking moonbat. Because if this keeps up --- and you know it will --- I will be freaking mad as a hatter in no time flat.

7 Comments:

At 10:27 PM, Blogger Leila M. said...

Don't waste your time with those fuckers! Why destroy yourself with their... DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (drooling avec la visage d'Homer Simpson)

 
At 10:38 PM, Blogger Cookie said...

It's like a sickness --- like watching some horrible slow motion car wreck in progress and the drivers of all the vehicles are plum too stupid to put on the brakes and you're just mesmerized by it all.

I know, I know, though --- I don't know why I even bothered lookingat the psychotic farmers forum. They're worse than any of them. They even have some KKKers openly posting over there now, and their defense for this FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS never occurs to them they won't let liberals talk over there so maybe their acceptance of the KKKers is really about what they're about?

I mean, talk about DUUUUUUUH! :=D

I really do have to stop it, though, and I know you're right.

But it's so hard to believe they're really this insane. BUT THEY ARE!!!!

 
At 11:30 AM, Blogger Leila M. said...

gimme the url. oh yessss gimme the url. kicks and giggles, yallah, fork it over

 
At 1:45 PM, Blogger Cookie said...

Here it ishehehe. Now, be warned you can only see the forum if you're registered so you're going to have to register. It's worth it, though, especially if yu got someone who doesn't really believe these people actually exist.

Oh yea they do!

Even better, the guy who runs the board works for PAT ROBERTSON!!

*cookie runs screaming from the blog*

Git 'em, Sister Scorpion, git 'em!

 
At 9:08 PM, Blogger MJ said...

I THOUGHT you were probably talking about Homesteading Today. Some of those folks are just... wow.

But anyway. I used to work for one of the broadcast media outlets in your area. Here's a typical newsroom conversation that was so inane I had to rush right back to my office and write it down when I overheard it:

"...and I could wear the size 2 and it wasn't even a petite, can you believe it?"

I once helped a couple of producers, fresh out of one of Oklahoma's fine j-schools, who didn't know where to go to find out how to contact a state senator. Any state senator. And this was, in fact, in the Internet age, not in the days of yore when you had to have that big book of cool Oklahoma facts like the state flower, the population county by county, and, yes, names and contact information for all the state senators in order to get that kind of thing (I forget the title; it seems like it should be The Oklahoma Almanac, though).

Never mind that in Oklahoma City you should just be able to pick up the phone book, dial the main number for the state capitol, and ask for any senator's office.

All I'm saying is, it's no wonder your relative didn't know anything about what's going on; probably all she's seen on the news is the 5-minute interview with the local family whose cousin's best friend's fiance might be missing in Iraq. Because that's the kind of thing local news stations ALL OVER THE FREAKIN' COUNTRY think is news, because their overpaid consultants tell them it is, and it's rare that anybody's doing any real reporting.

 
At 10:06 AM, Blogger Cookie said...

X-L, they're crazy over there, aren't they? And the board's owners are PAT ROBERTSON CLONES!!! THEY'RE CRAZY!!!

Yea, our educational system is really scary here - it's one reason I'm a teacher, though - and our media is even more useless - which is (yes) another reason I teach back here.

Excuse me, I need to go bang my head against the wall some more.

 
At 10:15 AM, Blogger M.T. Daffenberg said...

I, too, Cookie have been guilty of this same behavior--watching these car wrecks and wondering why, oh why. It is both uplifting and depressing--uplifting to know that I must be one of the smart ones, depressing because we are in the minority. The latter point isn't just depressing, it's scary. I also want to say thanks for being here, being a part of the thing some call the blogosphere, for we need numbers, and not just numbers, but intelligent numbers with the will to point out ethical obligations and moral wrongdoing.

 

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