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Tom Coburn is a Big Fat Jerk


Home of the Barking Moonbat


Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Life and a quickly written Eulogy for The Geese

Yesterday, my order from Forest Farm arrived: variegated and Concord grape plants (to complement the Niagaras I planted last year), two elderberry plants of a variety which produces abundant fruit and gorgeous yellow foilage, and Heidi strawberries.

I can barely stand it. I've got my seed starting trays out and am slapping my hands to keep from getting started, thanks to a spell of cold weather.

I have so freaking much stuff to plant. I have beautiful yellow tea roses I picked up a year ago for almost nothing --- they had a bad case of black spot and were desperately in need of a chance to hang around outside. I have a jasmine bush and lilacs to get in the ground, chard to get started in the coldframe in the greenhouse, butterfly bushes to get going --- and my rescue ornamental pepper? I separated it a few weeks ago --- a smallish plant turned into three plants, all of which have taken off gangbusters. They're coming along nicely and already producing peppers --- which are now edible, thanks to months of no pesticides or fertilizers and careful nursing back to health.

I can't wait I cant wait I can't wait. The plants can't either. The tropical hibiscus does really well in the plant room (don't ask) over the winter, and it's just busting out desperate to get back outside --- it's huge. Huge!!! The ferns, all the plants have started taking off in anticipation of spring.

In any case, that's all pretty rambly and whatnot but jeez, people, I have 60 essays and 25 opinions to grade AND all this planting to do plus I have GOT to finish the chicken coop and I'm really having to hold myself back from stopping off at the feedstore and picking me up some chicks which I'll raise in one of the bathtubs til they get bigger and it gets warmer and time's awasting!

Which brings me to Death and the beautiful geese.

For over a year now, I've been keeping an eye on some abandoned domestic geese down the road. The geese were abandoned by some failed survivalist types --- I mean, what the hell did these guys think they were doing anyway? They're the ones who'd put up the poorly concealed survivalist camp down a ways right across the road from the bar and a tolerable hike over to the combination feedstore - deli - pizza parlor - laundromat - gas station - loan shark joint.

These complete asshole cretins abandoned their geese! I couldn't believe it, beautiful wonderful HUGE geese. I almost went and rounded them up but, to be honest, I didn't want to get shot. I mean, trespassing isn't exactly acceptable around here. Besides, these geese are huge and geese, as you all likely know, can easily take on a shrimp like me. If I were a 6'5" man, it might be different. But I'm not.

So I've been going by to see the geese every day for a year now, checking on them, sending up blessings and prayers and hopes for them, even slowing to a crawl and yelling out the window at them "I'm rooting for you, goosers, you can do it!" Whenever I'd catch them getting a bit too close to the road, I'd tap the horn to chase them back to the wash. I pulled off more than a few times to toss them food.

A week ago, I finally relaxed about them. It seemed the lovely beautiful big fellows had finally settled into their niche --- a sizeable natural pond formed into a gully.

And then, a few days ago, I realized wanderlust had struck them.

I drove by the pond. They weren't there. I drove down a bit and saw them in the middle of the field. What the hell were the geese thinking? They were heading right into hound dog - cattle dog - LGD territory! Hunting beagles and coonhounds, huge Pyranees who don't take kindly to NO foreign critters, cattle hounds who'd gladly terrorize them!

Not a good plan, goosers!! But I was on my way to work. I crossed my fingers, sent up prayers and blessing and hopes for them, and yelled out the window GET BACK TO THE POND, YOU FOOLS!! THERE'S DOGS OVER THERE!!!

They didn't.


So the beautiful goosers who have brought me so much pleasure for the past year are now gone.

They were so strong and so brave and so persistent over the past year, and I am simply certain they've gone to Goose Heaven where there's lots of bugs and ponds and gentle rains and green fields and lovely flowers to eat ... and no hounds. Or coyotes. Or speeding maniacs from Texas in shiny SUVs or half-drunk teenagers driving semi-truck cabs a hundred miles an hour down our twisty curvy roads.

I'll miss my beautiful goosers. :=(


At 10:56 AM, Blogger Okiedoke said...

Brings back memories of our two geese, George and Gracie. They were with us for about 7 years and turned out to be better watch dogs than our real watch dogs. George was a real tough guy, hissing and threatening to bite, until I scooped him up in my arms. Then he was as docile as a baby.

Anyway, a coyote grabbed Gracie one night and George was just as distraught as in stories you may have heard about long-time goose mates being separated. The coyotes took away George a few weeks later.

We missed them some, but not enough to replace them. Now we are content just to hear their cousins fly over every Spring and Fall.

And I wish the bamboo on our west property line would succumb a bit to the cold.

At 3:28 PM, Blogger Cookie said...

Yes, I didn't want o post the saddest part --- I saw one of the goosers in total grief and knew immediately what had happened. But I also had some whacked out cowboy in one of those so-called pickups with forty tires on them right on my tail --- and trust me, we don't have shoulders out here or any room to spare on very twisty turny hilly roads!

So I couldn't stop and by the time I got back, he was nowhere to be seen. :=(

I miss the goosers!

BTW, I'm not sure what I have is real bamboo --- its canes bear some resemblance to bamboo but it has the most beautiful purple flowers! I found it on sale last year and have been trying to id the stuff for months now. I keep it in giant pots, though, just in case it's bamboo AND because it's frost intolerant.


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