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Tom Coburn is a Big Fat Jerk


Home of the Barking Moonbat


Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The hammer falls

Tomorrow I go back to work.

I'm not looking forward to this. I haven't prepared anything. Granted, I'm teaching night classes, so maybe I can pull something together tomorrow. But maybe not.

But I have made some decisions about how I'm going to teach. I've decided to kick their asses from one side of the room to the other and back again because I'm sick to death of malingerers, slackers, plagiarists, jive asses, whatever.

I lost 2/3rd's of my vacation to whining students who never even bothered to show up in class or do the work, but wanted A's anyway. That pissed me off.

So, from here on out, it's a test every class period for them. Every. Freaking. Time. We. Meet. They're getting a test. And when I'm not testing them, I'm going to make them write about the differences between nihilism and Dada. And when I get finished making them write, I'm going to make them hand their writing to neighboring classmates for examination and review.

Then I'm going to give them another test. And after that, I'm going to make them correct grammar and explain in 400 words or less the significance of the French Revolution in Gothic and Romantic literature. As if I know the answer to that one.

As if I care that I don't know.

Then I'm going to make them discuss whether it's possible to detect quantum physics in Hopi metaphorical constructions. After which they will write short essays comparing Hopi metaphorical constructions, locatives in Kiowa and English deictics.

Hopefully by next week I will have cleared my classes of any students and I can get back to painting the floors, admiring my tomatoes and strawberries and trying to get a job at a lumber yard (discounts, you know).


At 11:23 PM, Blogger Rob said...

You're so mean :)

Hey, they'll probably learn more from you than many teachers...methinks these days teachers are too nice and accomodating. Afraid of lawsuits, probably. Seems the '90's/'00's thing to do when you don't like your grade.

Give 'em hell, Cookie!

At 11:29 PM, Blogger Cookie said...

Hey, where have you been! :=D

I've been a terrible blogger the past couple of months, but I've decided to start behaving again. Good to see you!

At 2:56 AM, Blogger Rob said...

The Dark Side clouds everything...difficult to see, my movements have been. :)

Sorry, Star Wars III and all that :)

I've been around...took a bit of a blogging break, but I've been "back" too...

At 4:27 AM, Blogger MJ said...

HA HA HA! You horrible unfair professor! It's not their fault! They're "depraved on account of they're deprived!" Don't you know by now that it's all YOUR fault?! (Oh wait. It's MY fault. I forgot.) By the way, the subjects of those papers sound fascinating. I'd take the class.

At 8:21 AM, Blogger KCB said...

Go, go, go! Someday they're either going to have to learn to think or admit that they don't know how. Why not today?

I once had to call a meeting of all the fresh-faced recent grads in my department to inform them that there was indeed such a thing as a stupid question, and it was anything they could figure out on their own without bothering me. They were shocked. It was depressing.

At 1:06 PM, Blogger Leila M. said...

Dudette, just write a syllabus telling them the rules. Be a hard a$$ and tell them straight up if they can't do this stuff, then they need to get out.

At 1:10 PM, Blogger Cookie said...

Leila, that's what I've been doing. But it hasn't worked. The good students get it, but there is an unfortunate abundance of self-involved, self-important malingerers who've gotten away with it all their lives and have jive-ass down to a fine art.

Besides, one of my goals here is to give them no wiggle room whatsoever. They can, will and do try to wiggle around the syllabus.

So --- tests and graded writing every fucking class meeting. No exceptions. The grading rubric from hell. Etc.

At 1:53 PM, Blogger Leila M. said...

You're my nightmare! lol


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