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Tom Coburn is a Big Fat Jerk


Home of the Barking Moonbat


Sunday, May 01, 2005

It's that time again ...

... finals, that is. The time of year when this liberal and usually kind-hearted mind of mine actually finds itself thinking that there really are stupid people, and more thaan a few of them have ended up in my classes.

I mean, how ... HOW can someone score 4 out of 90 on an exit exam? How is that possible? Especially on an exam so easy that 99% of people in this country could make a minimum of 10 if they took the test while sound asleep.


And then ... the papers. The final papers. Or I should say, the drafts for the final papers, most of which I haven't even received yet --- and doubt I'll ever even see. Even though the ones not giving me drafts are the very ones who wouldn't know a freaking sentence if it walked up to them and shook their hand.

Now the good ones are great. But the rest of them are so hideously atrociously nauseatingly bad and disjointed and incomprehensible that I am really having to restrain myself from scrawling in huge bold black letters all across the front EITHER YOU'RE COMPLETELY WORTHLESSLY LAZY OR YOU'RE PITIFULLY STUPID --- OR MAYBE BOTH!!! BUT WHATEVER THE CASE, PLEASE! JUST GIVE IT UP NOW AND LEAVE ME IN PEACE! Maybe take a job teaching English in Japan or something. Maybe the Japanese can teach you a little something about the reasons for those funny little round dots we put at the end of sentences. Because obviously we here in America can't!

Although I will say this for it --- after a morning and afternoon dealing with this pitiful pitiful drek, my annoyance was so extreme that I mowed a half an acre in record time.

Please let this semester be over quickly!


At 6:40 PM, Blogger MJ said...

I just called in - I'm taking the day off tomorrow. So I can procrastinate grading THE 100 ESSAYS a little longer. CAFFEINE! I NEED CAFFEINE!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (That's hysterical laughter, by the way.) Ok, deep breathing. Deep breathing.

At 6:52 PM, Blogger Cookie said...

I just ripped one student a new one. They claim their writing problems stem from their "dialect" --- I say their writing problems stem from the fact that they take oh MAYBE 20 minutes to write the most important paper of the semester, one that requires citations and evidence and all that freaking crap.

I told them thinking is really a good idea when you're writing a research paper. I mean, I put it in a fairly kind way --- but I said it.


At 6:54 PM, Blogger Cookie said...

By the way, W ... T ... G calling in sick! I took most of last week off. It was heaven.

I'd probably have flung myself out a first story window by now, if I hadn't.

Yes. Breathe, Cookie, breathe!

At 1:13 PM, Blogger Leila M. said...

are they really that crappy?

At 1:24 PM, Blogger Cookie said...

Leila, bear in mind that the A students in this class were so far ahead of the rest of the class that I completely exempted them from this final paper.

They do good work --- some of them do almost brilliant stuff. And a few others do, as well.

But as for most of the others?

Yes. It's that bad. A few of them are so bad, they're unreadable.

And I'm pretty generous when it comes to readability. But this is frightening.


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