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Tom Coburn is a Big Fat Jerk


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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Day Four

I remembered last night that Leila, who I nominated for a Koufax which I promptly forgot about because I got busy and sick so I didn't tell her but not for malicious reasons I was simply sick and miserable and it's not like she runs in those blog circles anyway after all she has her own blog circles and she's already won lots of awards I mean Sister Scorpion is famous in her own time really she is but I thought she ought to know I nominated her even if I did forget until like only a few hours before the end of voting ...

... but I forgot she's out of town this week.

So. So much for that.

A summary of today:

Seeds: I have started edible chrysanthemums, thyme (yes, more thyme), lion's ear. In addition to two tomato varieties, one of which is Sun Gold, not Red Gold. And I have Cathedral Bells (I think) and Marvel of Peru seeds soaking.

The Lawnmower: I got the lawnmower in my trunk and got in to the little small engine store where they have the most hilarious picture on their wall --- it's of three coonhounds with big old buck teeth and the caption reads Arkansas coonhounds for sale. I started laughing and couldn't stop. So I should get the lawnmower back in a day or so, which means I'm going to have to start mowing. Which is good news because ...

Diet: I'm going to have to go on a diet. I'm positively blossoming here but enough is enough but if I'm going to get a perfectly FABULOUS job I'm going to have to do something about the expansion which might explain why ...

Cigarettes: I bought a pack of cigarettes today and am smoking at this very moment. Damn.

As for ...

The Guineas: I bought some scratch for them today, went out and threw some their way which caused them extreme psychological conflict --- approach avoidance the old FOOD FOOD YUMMY IT'S GOOD OMG IT'S A PERSON RUN RUN RUN FOR YOUR LIFE BUT THERE'S FOOD OVER THERE AND IT'S YUMMY AND I WANT SOME so I decided to make it a little easier on them and I left.

Guineas aren't the sharpest tools in the shed, you know.

In any case, after sneaking back inside and over to the window to spy on them and watching them overcome with fright at the sight of OH MY GOD!!! the front of the shed yet again I snuck back outside with a pan of scratch which resulted in complete mayhem in the back yard THE MONSTER THE MONSTER IS BACK BUT OMG SHE'S GOT YUMMY YUMMY FOOD WE LOVE HER WE HATE HER MUST RUN THIS WAY NO THAT BUT I DON'T KNOW WHICH WAY TO RUN SO I'LL MAKE HORRIBLE NOISES!!! so i set the pan of scratch down and decided to make it a little easier on them yet again and I left ...

... which led them to parade around the shed once again and once again be overcome with complete horror at the sight of OMG THE FRONT OF THE SHED THERE'S STUFF IN THERE RUN RUN FOR YOUR LIFE WAIT I CAN FLY UP AND SIT ON THIS and it was quite a long time til they remembered there was a pan with scratch in it.

Really, a few bricks short of a load. But very very entertaining.

I didn't get too much else done today. I had to leave the house too much to be too productive.

4 Comments:

At 3:39 AM, Blogger MJ said...

Throw the cigarettes away! Right now. I know for a fact that they just make you unhappy. If you need to do something self-destructive to lose weight, hit yourself in the face everytime you feel like eating. It would be healthier. Hmmm. Or an alternative might be a punching bag.

 
At 9:28 AM, Blogger Cookie said...

I know, I know. Actually, I realize the reason I got the cigarettes is because I have to grade a bunch of tests. I don't do very well with grading unless I smoke. For some reason, the nicotine keeps the tops of my head from exploding.

But it's an excuse, I know. But it is one of the reasons I have to figure out a new job. Unless I can figure out a way to grade without wanting to scream.

 
At 2:17 PM, Blogger Leila M. said...

naaa I wasnt out of town, I was ignoring the computer! I wondered who nominated me for those Koufax things! Did you nominate me twice? I saw I was in two categories, it tripped me OUT, girl! I know the Wampum folks filter those nominations, too so it was like wowee zowie!

I'm a still smoking, too. I need to friggen QUIT (again)

 
At 2:48 PM, Blogger Cookie said...

I probably nominated you in both categories and immediately forgot. Geez, I've been a way far spacecase.

Think I'll go get a pack of smokes now ... :=D

 

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