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Tom Coburn is a Big Fat Jerk


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Saturday, March 11, 2006

Gardening Journal, 2006, Day One

Well, I think I've gotten to the bottom of my funk. It's not simply that I spent a month sick or that my job is trying to Wal-Mart me (a situation I'm far from alone in --- virtually everybody I know here is being Wal-Marted).

It's that it's coming on the first year anniversary of my brother's death. And I am still far from resolved.

My phone bills this year have been humongous, as have the phone bills for most of my remaining relatives. We've developed a bizarre --- well, maybe not so bizarre --- need to stay in almost constant contact, lest one of us drop dead.

As for coming to any kind of emotional resolution about it, I'm finding it somewhat difficult. I simply can't believe he would be so idiotic not to take care of himself, especially given he had some fairly significant health issues. He had deadly allergies to eggs and had even been hospitalized several times in his life for going into anaphylactic shock. He definitely had some kind of auto-immune thing going on --- this had started some years ago, sometime in 1999-2000. But he wouldn't go to a doctor about it, even though we suspected he was developing lupus or rheumatoid arthritis or something.

He just wouldn't deal with it. And he was some kind of brainy guy, too.

The only reasonable explanation I've come up with is that he was in such complete denial about what was happening to him that he'd managed to convince himself it wasn't really happening, while simultaneously deciding sheer willpower could overcome

Not. Unfortunately.

So there it is.

On the flip side, I have actually started my gardening chores. I've torn off the remaining plastic from the greenhouse --- it had been ripped to shreds by the winds that devilled our area over the last year (thank goodness that's over with). I'm leaving the framework up and am building a raised bed with cinder blocks in the greenhouse a la Sister Scorpion style.

Mine aren't nearly as pretty, though. A hazard of rocky ground.

The frame will be used for bird netting and shadecloth and tying up plants.

I'll be building another one out back, too, but sans frame.

I haven't started seeds yet. Too busy carting cinder blocks around, as I will be for a few days. I got my income tax refund and promptly ordered a mess of them last night. They were delivered this morning --- !!!

Next step: emptying the composter into the bed out front and starting all over again.

The thyme has come back, the sage is starting up, the iris and pinks from my grandmother's gardens are taking off, I have fabulous Italian parsley going on its second year and it's just going crazy. Most everything survived the winter.

And it's been raining. Like mad. Looks like the drought's over. Woohoo!!!!

If I can just get over this funk and get my seeds started, looks like it's going to be a great gardening year.

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